Chapter 79 excerpt translation / ZYL is (canonically) a pervert

[foxghost]

for long long hair, that is. Not really spoilerish if you already know the gist of the weilan first meeting, just fluff. for @surreality51

“The divine wood gave me a vision of what happened five thousand years ago.” From where he’s draped over his pillow, Zhao Yunlan turns to say, “I saw the first time you laid eyes on me and fell from a huge rock into the water. I thought that must be because I was so handsome and sparkling, in an instant you were blinded by the light, and it shocked you so thoroughly you fell right into a gutter … ow!”

The hand Shen Wei happens to have already clasped over Zhao Yunlan’s waist involuntarily tightens.

Zhao Yunlan says, “My, my old back … are you trying to murder your dear husband?”

Shen Wei rubs gently over the complaint, and goes quiet for a while. It’s probably because they’ve already been intimate, but he surprises Zhao Yunlan by calmly admitting, “Truly, the moment I saw you I felt as if all three and seven pieces of my soul scattered, and from then on you were unforgettable.”

[TN. Soul: figure of speech]

Overly pleased with himself, Zhao Yunlan grins, and laughing an utterly vulgar laugh, he says, “Ai, Professor Shen. Take off your glasses. Change into your long hair and let your hubby see.”

Obediently, Shen Wei takes off his glasses. He returns to his original appearance, and suddenly jet black hair seems to spread over the entire bed.

There probably comes a time when every stupid man has that indescribable fixation with long hair, but regardless, Zhao Yunlan feels as if he’s hit in the bulls-eye, right in his weakness. He stares and stares at Shen Wei, and then reaching over a perverted hand, he strokes over Shen Wei’s hair cautiously, solemnly. With his heart on his sleeve he murmurs, “Great, great great great beauty. I think my entire life is worth this moment.”

[TN. ZYL uses the word 灑家 as his personal pronoun instead of “I” like he’s a dandy from the Song/Yuan dynasty or something. Also, what he said at the end is equivalent to: I could die right now and die happy.]

Comments

[mecurtin]

You and RainbowSe7en both use "perverted" in ways that make me think you're really looking for a different word. These days "perverted", when speaking of sexuality, is used rarely.

e.g. "reaching over a perverted hand" ... doesn't really work in current English, it implies that the hand is distorted or physically monstrous. My assumption is that you mean something like "full of sexual desire". "passionate" may be the best word in this case, because it's a word for sexual desire that doesn't clash with "cautiously, solemnly."

But in your post title, when you write "is (canonically) a pervert", that seems to be a different use of "pervert", like you mean "has a kink" (in this case for long hair).

Or are you making a joke?

I'm not saying this to make you feel bad or ashamed in any way. Your translations are a wonderful fannish resource, and you are clearly very skilled and thoughtful. But literary translation into a language that is not your first has an extremely high degree of difficulty, so I'm hoping this helps you.

I'm also curious because the novel obviously comes from a different set of sexual assumptions than I'm used to, and I'm trying to figure out what they are.

[foxghost]

P大 is a pretty good writer these days, I'm reading Sha Po Lang right now and tbh I have no complaints, but she wasn't the best back in 2012 when Guardian was written. While we (me as well as some other translators that I've spent time shooting messages back and forth about the book with) love the characters and the overall SW character-arc and some of the plot, there are major problems with the book. Typos aside, it's not very well edited and full of wasted words (a whole lot of "at the same time" "while this is happening" and "meanwhile") and it has some blatant pacing and tone problems. Basically, with 'perverted hand' or I suppose more correctly would be 'his pervert hand', a phrase she used multiple times to describe ZYL with, we're running into that tone problem.

She also employs an omnipotent-narrator point of view and tone shift from character to character, so the sentences in that passage is written something like this:
SW: serious tone, serious structure, well-phrased dialogue
ZYL: playful, slangy, way out there, sometimes using vulgar words, lots of loan words and old words in dialogue --- a lot like someone who's watched too much anime and ming/qing dynasty drama.

repeat and rinse.

In this case, the word here used is 鹹豬手 / Salted pig hand, which is slang for ... someone who gropes women in public, but instead of using it as a noun to describe a person who is a pervert, she used it as a noun in place of ZYL's hand, so it's sort of a pun. It's not a nice word, and it has no business being in the same sentence as the rest, and yet there it is. Another candidate for the same spot may be, "wandering old perv hand."

Canonically a perv, because canonically described as a perv: his heart is said to 沒節操 / lack integrity, he 吃豆腐 / eats tofu / takes advantage of skin-to-skin contact sometimes without permission, and often his gaze is descibed as 猥瑣 / vulgar, and his hand is a salted pig trotter.

[mecurtin]

Oh. So, novel!ZYL isn't just an asshole, he's a *creep*.

I interpreted the disrespect for personal space and constant threats to dock pay of series!ZYL as warm and not to be taken seriously, respectively (and I shall continue to do so as much as possible!). But it sounds as though novel!ZYL is actually an abusive boss, a domineering groper.

It's a tricky translation question, all right, how much to improve objective faults in the source (typos, etc.), and how much to improve things like this mis-match of adjectives. I apologize for assuming the problem was your grasp of the nuances of English when the issue is actually in P大's writing.

Is there a character arc for ZYL in the novel, the way there's one for SW? If the author were a Western slash fan (which was the lens I started with), I would have really wondered what kind of person ZYL is supposed to be, if he's supposed to be heroic-but-flawed or kind of endearingly flawed.

[foxghost]

hahhahahahah I always thought priest kept bringing up how handsome ZYL is in the novel so we can forget that he's such an asshole. We're supposed to think his surface callousness covers a heart of gold --- he is a person who took on all the responsibilities of being Lord Guardian as a teenager, and he did so without much complaint, afterall. So more heroic-but-flawed, since he's not afraid of throwing himself into danger, either for the sake of Shen Wei or "the big picture."

I think, from Priest's POV, because all of ZYL's inappropriate touching is reserved for Shen Wei as far as we can see, she thinks it is okay? So kissing SW's hand while he's "asleep"? okay. Going along with SW's sexual aggression while SW is drunk and can't really consent? Okay. We started off with the assumption that these two are a pair, and that the attraction is mutual, SW's rejection of ZYL is only surface acting, so all of ZYL's transgressions are ... fine. (this is largely accepted by the c-fandom)

In the novel, ZYL has more of a personal realisation arc, where he goes from thinking he's just the Lord Guardian with no real special powers (his special powers are like a D&D wizard's. They're written on talismans and comes out of tools and originates from the Guardian Plaque, but ZYL himself has no innate power) to finding out that he is the incarnation of a god, to inheriting those powers at the ending. But ZYL as a person doesn't really grow. He's still teasing SW the same way, yelling at his underlings the same way, lazing about the same way ... in the EXTRAS.

p.s. no worries, and it's amazing how much she improved in three years. by Sha Po Lang, most of her writing issues --- except maybe pacing --- are gone. /i just finished it what an amazing book <3